10 Things You Don’t Know About Women - Esquire.com
By Jill A. Davis
1. We don’t ever want to see the inside of an Olive Garden.
2. Sure, we make seventy-six cents for every buck you make, but we outlive you by six years and get to spend whatever you leave behind. So suddenly the seventy-six cents is starting to look more like $1.25.
3. Have we ever mentioned how grateful we are that we don’t have to shave our faces once a day, every day, for fifty years?
4. We dig bunker buster Donald Rumsfeld. He doesn’t use excessive hair gel, and neither should you.
5. Okay, okay: We do envy your penis. But only because it seems really convenient to have a measuring stick in your pants.
6. Our beef with Lifetime? No Robotica.
7. We love you! We’re crazy about you! How else can you explain the Girls Gone Wild series?
8. Being clean is so much more important than being rich or cute.
9. We’re the forgiving, open-minded sex. Except when you fuck with our tweezers.
10. Boxers or briefs? Who cares, as long as they’re clean and you know how to take ‘em off to music.
Filed under: humor
